Ramblings

God is Love
Pleasure we gain from riches and monetary gain is not love. It is a false love. False Love=False God.
God is Love.
When we love one another, we magnify this.
When we magnify this, it strengthens the universal love. It builds it up. Like an energy source.
When we build up this energy source there is more love in this world. More God in this world.
Prayer, song, dance – all of these serve as ways to directly send energy to the Divine.
This in turn makes us stronger as well because the Divine resides within us.
Reliving the myths through images and sacraments are a way of uniting our spiritual self with our physical self.
We are all connected Thru and BY the Divine.

I went for a walk today.
It was not an adventure perhaps today, but it was an experience.
I was walking with the boys in their double stroller, and the sky was,not particularly sunny today… the breeze was blowing the trees, the temperature was just perfect.
I was overwhelmed with the beauty of it all, and then, as I walked under a horse chestnut tree, full in bloom, the wind blew the leaves and they made that sound… the sound that trees make when they dance in the wind. In that moment, I felt like God was speaking to me. In a voice that was not a voice.
Things suddenly were different. More clear. Like when you finally break down and lift that protective film off of your cellphone and you see how bright and clear the screen is. A veil had flickered and I saw the beauty that is God. Right there. Real.
The rest of the walk was somewhat surreal.
Off and on , here and there throughout my life I’ve had those feelings. It was an experience like that once, when watching the sun sink behind the mountains, trailing shadows behind, that made me realize it was time to reconnect with the Divine, because the Divine was manifesting itself to me.
I love God. So very much.

upon further reflection this evening… I think what I saw, and what I have seen, is that Spark. It was a tiny small part of God that was nonetheless SO amazing that for that moment, and off and on since then this day, I have had a feeling of … I’m not sure. Almost like feeling as though I am in a movie. Not the whole time, but just little flashes here and there.

Our Forum

By the end of today, we should be with a new provider. Someone in the loop decided to spam, and therefore we got shut down. A real pain in the butt. So although the forum is fine, it is shut down temporarily so that posts don’t get lost in the transfer. Will update here and facebook as info becomes available.

Much Love!
Elena

A Dream

I had a dream about 15 years ago.
A woman wearing a gold headpiece and with feathers in it, led me. She looked egyptian to me, but I had no idea really because I was never the scholarly sort and in my conscious memory couldnt recall if she was someone important. I was a bit upset because I had hoped in my dreams to see Mary one day. Even though I had already left the Catholic church many years previously, I still hoped I would have a ‘vision’ of some sort, to help prove that there was SOMETHING there. If I could have that vision, I would go back to the Catholic Church.
So anyhow, this woman with a golden headress with a feather on each side of it (Sometimes her headress changed into the head of a bird), took me to this place. It was a building. A great domed building. There was a moat around it. A bridge lay before us and we walked into this building. Although the outside was large, it was not abnormally so, it was like a planetarium, one would expect to see a giant telescope poking through the roof. BUT, when I got inside, I saw that the inside was immense. It was… infinite. The universe was in that building. There was gold etchings, stained glass, shiny, beautiful, glowing things. It was beautiful. I dont remember what the woman said to me, but I remember feeling as though I had witnessed all of the universe in that building. The ceiling was visible, with carvings and art and glowing gold accents, but I knew that if I climbed high, and reached the ceiling, it would continue being out of my grasp. It was breathtakingly amazing.The dream was many years ago and I didnt think much of it at the time, except to be a bit disappointed that it was not Mary that had appeared to me, or Jesus, but a beautiful woman with feathers.
Recently though, as I discovered Gnosticism, and the passage from the Gospel of Thomas that says:
Jesus said, “If those who lead you say to you, ‘See, the kingdom is in the sky,’ then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, ‘It is in the sea,’ then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you.
I suddenly remembered this dream. And I realized that I was being shown that the Kingdom of God resides within. When I recalled this dream, it took me aback. I remembered the feeling of eternity in that golden domed ‘planetarium’.
Also, recently I have been reading about Egyptian spirituality etc., and I came across Ma’at. Bells went off… ok, not really BELLS, but once again, my dream came back to me.
I could swear that the woman in my dream was Ma’at. The concept of Truth, Balance and Order personified. Why Ma’at and not Sophia, or Mary…. I don’t know. Maybe if I had seen Sophia, I would have assumed she was Mary. I would have found the ‘proof’ that the Roman Catholic church was the only church, because I had prayed for visions of Mary for so long. And then perhaps I would have just run back to the Catholic church, not understanding the Christ, just sitting there in the pews like before, taking it all extremely literally without trying to build my own direct connection, without learning all the things I needed to learn these past years. I needed to see it presented neutrally. In a way that would allow me to progress, not associated with a brick and mortar building.
Now, years later, that dream has found it’s purpose. To unite and link together the different bits and peices- to help me understand where I am right now. So odd…. to have a dream fifteen years ago that just RECENTLY served to help me understand that the path I am on now, is the right path.
The Kingdom is Within.

Site Updates

Hello to everyone. Spiral Inward’s Gnostic Cafe is doing fantastically. I can not express how thankful I am to everyone that contributes to the forum with their questions, their experiences and their overall presence.

The Cafe has a bit of a new look, in order to flow better with the main site here. Banner, some new colours, wider content area and a few other things.

As well, I decided, after much contemplation, to add a donate box. Now PLEASE do not think this is expected. It does not cost a lot of money to run this site, but every little bit helps. Perhaps in the future we can do something with the board, come up with a cool logo and make some shirts or something too. I was looking at CafePress and thought hmmmm a Spiral Inward mug would be neat :D

But anyhow, truly, the donate button is not there to make anyone feel the HAVE to donate. I love running this site, I truly really enjoy it, but of course, every little bit helps. I would like to add in the names of those that help, if people like. Please let me know if you would like to be listed as a contributor. And remember, another fantastic way to contribute is by becoming an author on the  blog. If you are a member of the message board and would like to contribute articles to the blog, just pm me.

Also, I’m going to go through our section of favourite reads and I think I will start adding them to the Recommended Reading page here at the main Spiral Inward site via Amazon Showcase.

If there are any suggestions, please feel free to email me via the main forum page, I do beleive there is a email link at the bottom.

Once again, thanks to all of you for being a part of this. Much love to every one of you.

In His Sacred Flame,

Sr.Elena

Thoughts for the day

A Prayer to Start the Day

-Ceisiwr Serith

Mother of All, Father of All:
as I go through the day,
keep my eyes open wide.
May I not miss beauty.
May I not miss joy.
May I not miss wonder.
Keep me awake and aware of the world. 

Prayer for Kindness

-Bahá’u’lláh

Be generous in prosperity, and thankful in adversity. Be fair in thy judgment, and guarded in thy speech. Be a lamp unto those who walk in darkness, and a home to the stranger. Be eyes to the blind, and a guiding light unto the feet of the erring. Be a breath of life to the body of humankind, a dew to the soil of the human heart, and a fruit upon the tree of humility.

Let Us Rise Up and Be Thankful

- Buddha

Let us rise up and be thankful,
for if we didn’t learn a lot today,
at least we learned a little,
and if we didn’t learn a little,
at least we didn’t get sick,
and if we got sick,
at least we didn’t die;
so let us all be thankful.

I was corresponding with someone via email about church recently, and it got me thinking about WHY I want to go. First off, I will say that in the very near future I plan on getting myself to Victoria monthly so that I can take part in the service at Regina Coeli. I have been looking for a place close to home where I can find a bit of added  ’contact’ with my fellow humans. Here is my end of the email, posted here because I thought that it would be easier… and with two very active little ones constantly into everything, EASY is the word of the day. :)

As a mother of five, and with no friends in this city I have moved to, I really needed an actual physical connection with people other than my poor husband whom I confide everything too, just as I would a girlfriend/bestfriend… I ramble away to him from the moment he walks in the door from work until the moment he retires to bed for the night
I left the pagan community behind, simply because part of it just felt too much like dress up.
Everyone claimed to be spiritual, and enlightened, yet many of them were just as judgemental and fundamentalist-ish as the Christians we assumed we were so much better than.
I came across the EG, but realized there was nothing close to me. I LOVE the website and refer to it constantly, and I love +Hoeller’s books. I found Fr.Jordan (LOVE his book as well) through googling Gnostic and British Columbia, and got in touch with him… then he and Fr.Stu of the closest Gnostic church (about 5 hours away) made me a member by proxy of their Parish in Victoria. I am working towards hopefully entering the Priesthood of the AJC, and maybe (even) one day getting a Gnostic church out this way (would be a dream come true). Until then I do love all of you, my brothers and sisters at Spiral Inward.
I wanted to meet people in my community. I wanted to practice Grace, with those other than my family. And heck, my older three children, my 15 year old son in particular, drives me batty and I need a break sometimes.
Both the United Church and Anglican Church, even though I told them it is my goal to become a Gnostic Priest/ess one day, and that I am a self considered Gnostic with a site to unite Brothers and Sisters in Gnosis, they told me that if I could accept them, they most certainly could accept me.
I dont need a church to cultivate my spirituality.
My heart is in Gnosticism.
I use some of the Liturgy from EG, I have an altar my husband and I have been working on in our garage. I recite the Liturgy every Sunday, on my own, with candles and incense in my cleared out garage. I have flowers there and other things to help with putting me in the headspace. I do my meditations there, my Hermetic excercises….
I just wanted a physical building outside my home to go to once a week… to sing with others… to smile at others and help spread love amongst the strangers in my neighbourhood
I am able to interpret the sermon in a Gnostic flavour in my mind for the most part I think.

So anyhow, thats just a bit as to where my mind is at.
I was very glad to read the address from H.Em The Most Rev. Shaun McCann, Ep.Gn. made at the AGC Conventicle. It can be read here

  • http://alexandriangnostic.blogspot.com/2010/03/state-of-college-address-2010.html
  • . Such a wonderful sense of community, of great things that can come to be if we all work together. It warmed my heart.
    Well, off I go for now… two little boys need some lunch.
    Love to you all!

    Absentee Blogger

    Well, what can I say? I’ve been pretty neglectful of this blog. Not of the site itself, as I check on the Cafe daily, but I often find that after I’ve shared thoughts on the forum, updated on Facebook, ranted in my odd little personal private blog, that I don’t have anything to post here that I think people would like to read. :)

    I have been writing little poem-type thingies of late, and anything that isn’t horribly embarrassing will find it’s way here. And of course, if you’re a member of the Gnostic Cafe Forum, and you think you’d like to contribute to this blog here, whether it be an article of sorts, creative writing etc, just PM me at the forum.

    I am trying to limit my online time a bit. I have a problem with information addiction. I read one page, and that has a link for another page, and THAT looks interesting, so I follow that…. so on and so forth. It starts out innocently enough – checking email, checking the forum- and then before I know it, I’ve skipped merrily along the information highway for far too much of a portion of the day.

    So, Wednesdays and Sundays are limited to ONLY email. Well… I’ll try my best anyhow.

    Sonojoy, from the forums said something once about each hour you spend on the computer takes two hours of reading time away… or something like that. I guess I could be a bit more professional and double check, but I’m tired and its a bit late. Point is, that I want to start spending more time reading books, and I want to use the time that I spend on the computer to further my academic studies (ok, who am I kidding… to START some academic studies). I want to reacquaint myself with paper and bindings. I want to learn, and apply this knowledge to hopefully finding a place amongst Clergy one day. It warms my heart just to think of it. So I am making the sincerest of efforts to spend what time is not consumed by defiant teenagers and mischevious toddlers with furthering myself along the path to Gnosis.

    I deleted my old facebook account and made one only for staying in touch with select people. Those whom I do not have the luxury of being able to communicate with face to face, but who unlike the hundred+ people that I went to school with but was never really friends with , are those whom I REALLY want to be in contact with. I sure hope that doesn’t sound snobbish. But truly, have you ever tried to delete a ‘friend’ from a list? Only to have that person see you on someone else’s list… then the ‘Oh! What happened, I thought I was on your friend’s list!’ message comes in….. Starting over was easier.

    I want to use the internet for the great tool it is able to be, without being caught up in the unnecessary distractions. (and if I ever TRULY learn which is which, then it will probably be even more effective….I mean, I’m SURE that one day all the time I spend online reading about how to raise goats will come in handy)

    Seriously though… I am feeling really blessed these days. For the first time in my life, I really feel like I am never alone. I feel like I am truly building a relationship with God. Through the Logos, through Sophia, and through the stillness. Sometimes I still feel a bit blind, stumbling about…. but it no longer frightens me.

    Slightly off topic, but something nice – I had been corresponding via email with the Reverend of a local Anglican church. It’s a nice church, and although I thoroughly enjoy the time I spend in my prayer space that we are building in the garage, I had been thinking about what it would be like to be in church again. (there are no Gnostic churches near me. Not yet anyhow ;) )

    I wanted to attend this church, but I had the need to contact the Reverend, tell him what I was about, and ask him if I could find a place there to spend some of my Sundays. After a few casual emails, I told him I am a Gnostic, I told him that it is my most sincere wish to become ordained into the Gnostic Priesthood one day. He replied very kindly, stating something along the lines that he was quite sure that with all the diversity God created with the people, that everyone was bound to have their own connection with Him. What was true for one, would not be for another , and did it really matter? Most often in life, people do not actually agree with us, and that rather than it be a problem, it should be looked at as a unique flavour that can be brought to the table. Well, I thought that was quite nice. Of course, I haven’t actually gone yet. But I will be going this Sunday.

    Well, that’s enough for this evening. It wasn’t a super interesting post, but I’m happy I shared it nonetheless.

    Blessings to all my Brothers and Sisters in Gnosis. May you feel loved and valued, because you are worthy of the greatest Love, and you are Valuable beyond words.

    Prayer for the Grieving

    Oh Divine One,
    Name most Sacred,
    May the Love of those with dear ones lost
    Be strong.
    May the pain of their grief be lessened
    With the knowledge that those whom they hold,
    Dear to their Heart
    Are there.
    Sustained through memory,
    Nurtured by their thoughts.
    Connected now and forever by your Divine Spark
    That unites us all.

    ~Amen~

    Prayer to Sophia

    Holy Sophia, Mighty Mother of us All,
    Bringer of Blessed Abundance
    Queen of Heaven,
    Of Holy Wisdom,
    Oh Fallen One ~ Soul of the World
    Grant me the Grace and the Dignity to walk
    In the Path of the Light, Head held high
    Bestow upon me the Gift of Gnosis
    Of Inner Knowing.
    So that I may find my way Home.

    Sr.Elena

    New at Spiral Inward’s Gnostic Cafe

    We are pleased to announce Miguel( Abraxas) , host of Aeon Byte Gnostic Radio show as a new member on the board. Please check out his site .

    “Still the first and only ever weekly radio show on Gnosticism, Ancient Religion and the Occult. An approachable, comprehensive, and affable discussion about the impact of the world’s favorite yet least known Heretics, The Gnostics, and their Brethren in the Esoterica”

    These past few weeks have been busy at Spiral Inward’s Cafe. Our site was down for a frighteningly long time, just about the same time that we received many new members. I am sad to say that The Palm Tree Garden Forum has closed down, and although we are thrilled to have so many new people at the Cafe with us, we are sad to see it go. The Palm Tree Garden housed a wealth of information. Best wishes to everyone involved with the PTG who made  it the fantastic board that it was.

    I also want to share the link to the site of a fantastic artisan, Sonojoy. (well, that’s how we know him on the board anyhow ;) ) This is his personal jewelry site, and this is his Etsy shop.

    He does some of the most fantastic work I’ve seen.If you are a member of our Forum, you may have already seen some of this beautiful creations.

    Anyhow, that’s just a  bit of a site update.

    Love to you all,

    Sr.Elena

    So Much Discontent

    In an age that offers us so much, there sure is a lot of dissatisfaction. I’m not old comparitively speaking, but I do remember the dial phone, and the novelty of the microwave and the first VCR’s. Wired remotes for tv’s with switches rather than buttons…I remember cordless phones that cost hundreds of dollars with foot long antennae. Cartoons only on in the mornings, Mon-Saturday, and then on Sundays we were stuck watching old Robin Hood and Spiderman.
    So much has progressed.
    Yet it seems that it has only fed our hunger for more.
    I was reading in Stephen Hoeller’s Gnosticism today about our addiction for knowlege. The Information Age.
    It got me to thinking about something else that I had been contemplating for some time.
    Continue reading