Living Gnostic?

I have been having a lot of trouble lately, a lot of spiritual upheaval. Actually it feels as though since the moment I stumbled across this thing called Gnosticism I have found myself going through odd spiritual processes.

I was Wiccan, as I have mentioned way back when, and have found myself going back and forth between various progressive and mystical forms of Christianity and Judaism and back to Paganism.

Two things always hold true for me however: I recognize divinity through nature more so than anything else. It’s the ‘door’ so to speak that God comes through to me. Christ manifested in the Flesh = God manifest in Nature . The flesh is not perfect, yet Christ came to dwell within it as Jesus. Nature is not perfect but God dwells within it as Spirit.

I also realized that even when following my ‘pagan’ path, there was a level of emptiness in it. I guess I’m a sacred text kinda gal. I found myself always drawn to Psalms, and Thunder, and Gospel of Thomas, and Gospel of Philip etc…..

So I sort of found that I don’t fit properly into a box.
Too Jewish and Pagan to be Christian. Too Christian to be Pagan . Too Christian to be Jewish.

I do see a lot of world-hating within Gnostic texts, except for Thomas, my favourite, which isn’t even technically a Gnostic text. In things like the Papyrus of Ani and Psalms 104 I feel a strong connection to the imagery used. I don’t see the Old Testament God as being a demiurge.. I see the Old Testament as a collection of writings and stories told over many years by many different people, that describe human situations at that time, in allegory and lesson.

So, with those above qualifiers, I don’t see myself as a Gnostic. However, searching for Gnosis, looking within Sacred Writings from different civilizations and cultures, grasping that concept of Christ or the Word manifest, struggling with my own shadows and trying to find a contemporary way to express these Inner Knowing thought streams… to ME at least, qualifies me as a ‘Little g gnostic’ because it is only the era I was born in that prompts me to find Gnosis in the manner I am.
If I were born in a different period, back in the time of the ‘Gnostic’ groups, I would be using different materials, and questioning them in different ways, but ultimately with the same goal, with the same intention in heart – to Know God and to therfeore Know Myself.

2 thoughts on “Living Gnostic?”

  1. It’s not world-hating you see in those writings. It’s an attempt at a solution to hateful world.

    You have to remember that the people who wrote those things were living under a type of tyranny that no one should ever be subjected to. Judaic law is incredibly cruel and culturally intolerant, by any standards, completely stripped of a feminine divine and imposing a lifestyle that is utterly impossible to live up to. The Essenes and the Gnostics tried to break from this system which had, by then, been totally absorbed into the Roman elite. (Not much different than now, save the addition of the Talmud, which is even more cruel and intolerant than the Torah, and a generation gap of 2, 000 years.)

    I know what you’re going through, on some level, regarding religion. I was into Wicca for a time, myself. What disturbed me about it was the way females would use it as a means of attacking the opposite sex, which totally defeats the balance that modern Earth religions try to restore..

    It may be that you’re simply getting a thorough religious education. It’s not at all unimportant, given the situation the world finds itself in currently.

    I would actually suggest a thorough study of Buddhism and Sufism (both Universal and Islamic), and the general world history entailed, if you want to gain a fair grasp of Christian Gnosticism. It will make a lot more sense to you, at any rate.

    Good luck to you, all the same.

  2. Thank you Chris for your thoughtful comment. I was in a very odd crossroads at the time of that post.
    The ‘world-hating’ I refer to is still a big debate in the forums… everyone has an idea of who meant what.
    I have also come back to centre to realize that much like the Old Testament wrtings, the writings are indeed a reaction, and response to the circumstances at the time.
    I have found a good place with an earth-based expression of esoteric, progressive Christianity. I have once again found my way I think. At least for now. There is an amazing depth to Christianity that gets quite squashed with all the TV Evangelist types, and fundamentalists.
    Not sure if you will see this comment or not, but if you do, you can view my current work at http://divinaturism.com .
    Im still the same person I was as a Wiccan/Pagan, but I realized that the path that best nurtures me along my way to Gnosis and self-discovery is that of the early-Christian faith.. one that allows for many different writings and ideas and expressions.
    Thanks again,
    Sr.Shilo

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