Well, what can I say? I’ve been pretty neglectful of this blog. Not of the site itself, as I check on the Cafe daily, but I often find that after I’ve shared thoughts on the forum, updated on Facebook, ranted in my odd little personal private blog, that I don’t have anything to post here that I think people would like to read.
I have been writing little poem-type thingies of late, and anything that isn’t horribly embarrassing will find it’s way here. And of course, if you’re a member of the Gnostic Cafe Forum, and you think you’d like to contribute to this blog here, whether it be an article of sorts, creative writing etc, just PM me at the forum.
I am trying to limit my online time a bit. I have a problem with information addiction. I read one page, and that has a link for another page, and THAT looks interesting, so I follow that…. so on and so forth. It starts out innocently enough – checking email, checking the forum- and then before I know it, I’ve skipped merrily along the information highway for far too much of a portion of the day.
So, Wednesdays and Sundays are limited to ONLY email. Well… I’ll try my best anyhow.
Sonojoy, from the forums said something once about each hour you spend on the computer takes two hours of reading time away… or something like that. I guess I could be a bit more professional and double check, but I’m tired and its a bit late. Point is, that I want to start spending more time reading books, and I want to use the time that I spend on the computer to further my academic studies (ok, who am I kidding… to START some academic studies). I want to reacquaint myself with paper and bindings. I want to learn, and apply this knowledge to hopefully finding a place amongst Clergy one day. It warms my heart just to think of it. So I am making the sincerest of efforts to spend what time is not consumed by defiant teenagers and mischevious toddlers with furthering myself along the path to Gnosis.
I deleted my old facebook account and made one only for staying in touch with select people. Those whom I do not have the luxury of being able to communicate with face to face, but who unlike the hundred+ people that I went to school with but was never really friends with , are those whom I REALLY want to be in contact with. I sure hope that doesn’t sound snobbish. But truly, have you ever tried to delete a ‘friend’ from a list? Only to have that person see you on someone else’s list… then the ‘Oh! What happened, I thought I was on your friend’s list!’ message comes in….. Starting over was easier.
I want to use the internet for the great tool it is able to be, without being caught up in the unnecessary distractions. (and if I ever TRULY learn which is which, then it will probably be even more effective….I mean, I’m SURE that one day all the time I spend online reading about how to raise goats will come in handy)
Seriously though… I am feeling really blessed these days. For the first time in my life, I really feel like I am never alone. I feel like I am truly building a relationship with God. Through the Logos, through Sophia, and through the stillness. Sometimes I still feel a bit blind, stumbling about…. but it no longer frightens me.
Slightly off topic, but something nice – I had been corresponding via email with the Reverend of a local Anglican church. It’s a nice church, and although I thoroughly enjoy the time I spend in my prayer space that we are building in the garage, I had been thinking about what it would be like to be in church again. (there are no Gnostic churches near me. Not yet anyhow )
I wanted to attend this church, but I had the need to contact the Reverend, tell him what I was about, and ask him if I could find a place there to spend some of my Sundays. After a few casual emails, I told him I am a Gnostic, I told him that it is my most sincere wish to become ordained into the Gnostic Priesthood one day. He replied very kindly, stating something along the lines that he was quite sure that with all the diversity God created with the people, that everyone was bound to have their own connection with Him. What was true for one, would not be for another , and did it really matter? Most often in life, people do not actually agree with us, and that rather than it be a problem, it should be looked at as a unique flavour that can be brought to the table. Well, I thought that was quite nice. Of course, I haven’t actually gone yet. But I will be going this Sunday.
Well, that’s enough for this evening. It wasn’t a super interesting post, but I’m happy I shared it nonetheless.
Blessings to all my Brothers and Sisters in Gnosis. May you feel loved and valued, because you are worthy of the greatest Love, and you are Valuable beyond words.